Even though it is unintential on both sides, I can feel it and I can hear it through the many different conversations I have with moms: The battle of the working mom vs. the stay-at-home mom.
I was confident in my decision to mostly stay at home with my kids. I was confident because this is what my mom did, this is what my husband's mom did, but above all this is what I believe works best for my family. I am in no way against working moms - in fact I often look at them with awe - they are extremely hard-working, driven, dedicated, committed, and love their kids just as much as I love mine.
My confidence began to disintegrate as my maternity leave was close to ending and the question of 'What is next?' was asked in so many different ways by so many different people. Then on top of that, the working mom bond was made around me, and I felt less worth, less capability, and much less like I was doing the right thing. Thoughts surrounded my mind of 'laziness', 'incompetence', and many more. This must be what working moms think of me. Suddenly many of my mom friends that I got together with on a regular basis were working and I was home, with a much smaller group of friends readily available for playdates and a lot more at home slow days.
Did I make the right decision? Am I truly doing what is best for my family...for me?
I have not decided on my future plans. I don't know if I will continue to be a stay-at-home mom for the rest of the time my kids grow up. I don't evenknow if I will go to work in the next few months.
But right now, I am a stay at home mom. And that's okay. It IS okay. That element of compare had begun to creep into my mind and I needed to take a step back. (Read my article on The Dangers of Comparison.) I needed to take a step to think and look over my life, my choices, my family. It isn't about any other mom or what works for them. It is simply about what God has planned for me -- which may look extremely different from all the other moms.
In the end, it isn't a battle between the different moms - it is an inward battle of confidence in yourself and your decision vs. the insecurities that you let yourself soak in.
*Stay at home moms - Lets not let these lies creep in. Lets not let these demeaning phrases take over. Lets be confident in what we chose...for what God had planned for us and our families.*