Before this, I was running full speed ahead. Every day was planned to the max for Emelyn and I. We were out every single day of the week. I was pushing us to move faster and faster. You see, I wanted to ignore the quietness at home. I was in the mindset that keeping busy would make me feel fulfilled and happy. In truth, I was afraid of the stillness and quiet that would engulf me if I didn't keep pushing myself. I don't think I realized this was the mindset I had until I was forced to stop.
I had, had plans for November. Plans to start a new focus for my life that would bring Emelyn to daycare 30 minutes away. I had ignored the insanity of driving an hour both ways simply to bring my daughter to daycare so that I could carry out my own plans. I then had plans to take a course and delve into something very new for me. If I had carried out these plans, I am sure they could have worked out. However, I know that they would not have brought me those feelings of fulfillment and happiness.
I was relying on my own plans rather than God's plans. I was choosing to try to find fulfillment in my own works, rather than through God.
It wasn't until I was forced to sit in the quiet for a while, that I truly recognized this. It wasn't until I was forced to slow down completely.
I learned so much from simply slowing it down. I learned to embrace the silence, I learned to find happiness through my mundane every day tasks as a wife and a mother, and above all I learned to lean on God instead of others. I learned that it is okay to be home and it is good to stop the rush.
I had to say no to quite a few things these past couple months, and I've learned that, that is okay. I also became a more focused mom and wife. This has been a huge blessing for my family and I, and I have come to realize the importance of these jobs above any others that I had been placing my energy on.
Now that I am back with a vehicle, and as we approach the Holidays things have begun to get busy again. But I am not going to stop slowing down. I want to continue to take things slower, for myself and for my family. Above all, I want to take time to listen to God's plan for me, rather than my own plan for myself.
Perhaps think of how you can also take time to slow things down this holiday season and beyond. Amidst the Holiday busyness, I am going to continue to take things slow by placing a few less responsbilities on myself so that I can focus on the true beauty of Christmas.
Are there any responsibilities or duties that you can say 'no' to this season?
**One way I am choosing to do this is by taking a break from blogging. This will be my last blog post of the Holidays. Hubby has a week and a half off of work, and we are going to truly embrace the time together as a family. In the meantime, I will still occassionally be posting articles or posts that I think you might enjoy on my Facebook Page. Make sure to check that out and 'like' it if you haven't already! **
Enjoy the Holidays and you can expect me back with new posts January 5.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours!