I Can't Do This

"I can't do this"  I proclaimed loudly as the pain came on stronger and quicker and I discovered it was too late for an epidural.

"I CAN'T DO THIS" I screamed as my whole body cried out in agony through each push.

"I can't do this." I whispered quietly as nurse after nurse pulled and twisted my nipples as my newborn baby wouldn't latch.

"I can't do this." I sobbed as I turned on the dreaded pump and fed my baby her first bottle, thoughts of succeeding at breastfeeding feeling so far away.

"I can't do this." I feared as my toddler cried for my attention in the middle of an hour long feeding session.

"I can't do this." I said, thinking about spending my days alone with a toddler and a newborn.

"I can't do this."

Yet I did it.  All of it.  And I am continuing to do it.  Step by step as each challenge comes my way.  The thoughts of 'can't' continue to occupy my mind yet one by one I am shutting them down.

The past two weeks have been full of talk of 'can't's and yet acts of 'cans'.  The past two weeks have been full of days of overcoming, of facing my fears and of success in doing so.  Why?  Because I chose to not let those words of "I can't do this" determine whether or not I would do it.  I chose to push through, to not give up, to try harder.

The challenge of motherhood is extremely tough.  It is overwhelming, exhausting, and scary.  That is what challenges often are.  They stretch us in ways we didn't think possible and they allow us to grow stronger and wiser.

What challenge are you facing today?  Don't allow 'I can't do this" to take over from this challenge.  Take those four words out of your thoughts for all these words do is put a hold on you.  Do not allow such words to limit your self.  Instead push your self -- challenge your self, and see where that takes you.

This is how we grow...how we learn...how we change.


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