(A continuation of a recent post Less of Me… )
I want to serve by telling others about Him. By expressing my need for Christ, my love for Christ and above all His love for me. I want everyone to know. I want the world to know. Christ is my passion and my life – why wouldn't I want people to know about that!?
Yet I fail every day. And I get so frustrated by this. So overwhelmingly frustrated.
Another day at a play group, the library, an early years centre, the grocery store, the coffee shop...and another day where I did not mention the name of my Saviour to someone new. I pray for opportunity and wait. I go home and I question… God why? Why did you not provide me with opportunity? Why?! Or – I go home and I think of how I could have and should have mentioned the name of my Saviour. So begins the frustration, disappointment, and guilt. Feelings that bring me to a point of wanting to give up. I want to stop trying because it's not working. It's not working.
You know what's really not working? Trying so hard yet trying so hard on my own. Sure we pray before we do something, we come to God first – but do we always stick close to God throughout the entirety of the situation? Am I praying without ceasing (1 Thess. 5:16-18) ? Am I continually coming to God and allowing Him to truly work through me?
Really, it is so much less about what I do and how hard I try and so much more about letting Him use me in His way.
Abide. Jesus says to abide and bear fruit (John 14). Abide. Less of me, more of You. Less of me.
Quiet my heart.
Still my heart.
I can hear God calling me now. Just abide. Don't worry. Stop over thinking it. Come to ME, and simply abide. I will do the rest. Abide.