Your Spouse Needs You

Your spouse needs you.  

All day long you are filling the demands and requests of these little people that fill your home. From snacks to diaper changes to spilled milk to band aids. From clean ups to cooking to laundry. From hugs and kisses to time outs. After all that, your husband comes home from a long day at work and the first thing you want to do is blurt out everything that went wrong in your day and the last thing you want to do is serve him. Yet that is what we are called to do. As mothers and as wives we are called to serve. That is what your husband needs from you, his helper, and that is what God requires from you.

His helper. Yes, his helper – that is what you are. And what a beauty that is. God has called you to be there for your husband and only you.

But honestly? Who has the energy for that!? By 5 O'clock my energy levels are down to .5 and I am in no mood to hear about his day. In fact 5 minutes late and instead he gets the brunt of my grumpiness taken out on him after his long commute. Poor guy.

Seriously though. Poor guy. Does he deserve that? No. Definitely not. He deserves so much better and more than that – He needs so much more. Specifically, he needs so much more from me.

Does that sound like just another responsibility, another duty, another task, another thing to do? At times it does for me too. Oh, how we need to rethink we need to be reminded of the beauty and joy that serving our spouses can be if we let it.

Instead of it being another task, think of it as being an honor. An honor meant only for you. This is an honor and a service that does not have to seem overwhelming. Because when he comes home from a long day at work, all he really needs from you? A hug, a kiss, and possibly a small acknowledgment that shows him he matters to you, he's worth it. The funny thing about that? You need that too. From him. You need that 5 minutes to reconnect, to be reminded that you are each others and only each others. You need to be reminded that no matter what happened throughout that day and whatever will happen that evening, you have each others backs and each others love.

While the kids may be screaming, the toddler may be whining, the baby may be crying, and the dinner may be burning, when your husband walks through the front door, come to him first. With an exhausted hug and perhaps a passionate kiss, these will be the best ways to start your evening – reminding him and reminding your self where this all began in the first place and how that must stay firm throughout the chaos. Instead of spilling your complaints all over him when he opens that door, I challenge you to take 5 minutes to just be with him and find your peace and love with him, the man God created for you. This is how you can begin to serve your man after a long day and really, in the end you are being served as well. And perhaps, after beginning your evening with this small act, it will set the rhythm of service for the rest of the evening. For it so often comes twofold and this very small service that you begin for your husband may take on a much greater impact on your self, your marriage, and even your kids.   


  1. 5 minutes is a great rule of thumb. My hubs & I were talking about this topic recently. I want to make it a rule. But sometimes hard to enforce. It should however be priority.

  2. 5 minutes is a great rule of thumb. My hubs & I were talking about this topic recently. I want to make it a rule. But sometimes hard to enforce. It should however be priority.

  3. This is excellent. I try to give my husband a kiss as soon as he comes in the door, but taking time to make it a real kiss and a hug would be even better. Kids have to see that Mommy and Daddy love each other even when they're tired!


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